 I have never written about my first born son’s life in his 16 years. For that matter I am not sure i have really written about any of my children as such. Today for some reason I am sharing about my 16 year old son. Levi is autistic and I struggle with autism. It's been a long journey since we had that discovery some 12 years ago. Yet it’s my struggle with autism more than it’s his. If I wrote about the long details I might generate unwanted sympathy. Sympathy is neither my motive here nor is soliciting answers to a puzzling life situation, but rather it is just to give expression to the world from a parent of an autistic teenager. My son is happy and joyful 95% of his days. He is not socially or emotional in conformity of his peers age bracket. He is special, he is simple and he is happy. He probably comprehends far more than what he can express and I desire he could comprehend far more than what he appears to grasp. Our life with our son creates many mixed emotions and it has been this way for so many years. As family and friends see our world many of them want to help fix our situation with ideas and suggestions. All well-meaning, but so few with realistic application. Unless you “live” with autism one will ever really know the full impact of what it is like. Our other 4 children have enjoyed a good childhood & teen years while being a sibling to a challenged autistic brother ( at least I believe that to be the case). I believe they are better people for the challenge and it will widen their compassion in a complex and hurting world.
Examples of simple challenges range from soccer to the beach. When it’s time for soccer sometimes one of us might stay home with
Levi or we go to the field with him. But often Levi gets bored and/or
disengages soon. Then one of us parents needs to leave the field to wait in the
van with him. When we go out to eat we might have to leave sooner than others
cause when Levi is done he is ready done. eating means just that and skip the social aspect. It’s our reality and we deal with it.
Levi is a special young man and has made positive strides over all these years, but yet he is still autistic. Sometimes I get really frustrated and cry out to God, “if only you would heal him completely and take it all away”. Yes, I've prayed that for literally years each night. It's probably more about me now then it is about Levi. Actually I know it’s more about me then Levi. He does not know he is not normal. Matter of fact his worldview is normal for him. He is very far behind socially, emotionally and mentally cpmpared to others, yet so very happy and joyful that he probably enjoys each day more than most his age and those my age. Sometimes he has seasons and cycles that are easy and sometimes he will not sleep or comply with our life and schedule.
We often juggle our life decisions based
on Levi and what we know he can handle or believe he cannot handle. Sometimes we
leave things early or may decide to not go at all. Sometimes it's a blessing
and sometimes it's not. Sometimes
we hit it and sometimes we don’t.
We have lived near the beach now for 4 years and for several years he has loved the waves and the beach. This past year he went through some phase we could figure out and he could not express it either. It lasted about 9 months. We could not get him near the water. In this season he would not even go near the water or sand. So during that time we went to the beach less often or Levi sat in the van while we took turns staying near him while the others took time in the sun, surf and sand. A few months ago we had a birthday party at a park at the beach. I decided to take Levi for a walk along the edge of the water hoping he might take to it again. After 30 minutes or so with his feet actually walking in the water I thought maybe he will swim again. So back to the van we went to change clothes and back to the water again. Wow, he loved it and I could not keep him out of the waves again. It was like a switch went off and now almost every week he still says “let’s go swimming”. It’s not the time of year to swim as such, but now he wants to go ALL the TIME.
I cannot predict his future or ours, but
can any of us predict the future? Years ago I taught him to say the Lord’s
prayer and now he can say it anytime he wants. At one point in his younger
years he would not even talk, now as a teenager we cannot shut him up at
times. Progress has happened. What he once could not do; now he can
and wants to do.
Last week we went to a local church
ministry that offered a program called “A walk through Bethlehem”. We waited
over an hour just to take the walk through the journey back in time to relive
the birth of Christ. We really did not
know if Levi would make it through or even like it. It was a risk to go with
him. Sometimes we take the risk and other times we don’t want to risk it. I often
wonder about other people in society that do not know him or us and how they
will respond to an autistic teenager. Those social reactions are what I
struggle with far more than what Levi struggles with. He thinks if someone’s
face is interesting and looks fun to touch that he can just reach out and
touch some stranger. But of course I know he should not and therefore I am
always on the guard in public to protect all parties. Now back to Bethlehem:
So as we finally walked through the journey we discovered that Levi loved it.
Those men dressed in Roman soldier uniforms really cracked him up. I mean every
time they walked up and tried to get the crowd to move along with a serious
threat Levi would burst into laughter that the rest of the crowd did not see
the humor in. Actually, I could not see it either, but I saw that Levi got
tickled and could not contain his joy and laughed. Our Walk through Bethlehem
became more about enjoying watching Levi then the walk itself. He became my
focus of joy instead. We all became enamored with the joy of watching how
Levi would keep reacting then what the journey was itself. When the Angel
jumped out of a cloud with smoke Levi began from that point on looking all
around in the sky for the next angel to jump out again. Huum! Maybe my
expectation needs to be looking more too.
I love my son Levi. I often feel I have
failed him far more than any of my other children. Parenting an autistic child
does not come with a manual. I often get tired and feel trapped by the unpredictability
of what my autistic son might do or say next. When my frustrations rise and I
get selfish and want things to just be “normal’ my precious wife reminds me with two
simple words that I need to hear even though I know them well. Those words are: He’s Autistic!
To those who have an autistic child or two may God bless and encourage you. You are not alone and never will be. God knows your child by name as do you. Autistic people are different and the spectrum varies so much. To most they MAY NOT BE NORMAL as we refer to as normal. You may even feel trapped by circumstances that do not fit the world around you, but their reality is free in so many more ways than ours will ever be. Enjoy them for who they are and do not get frustrated for who you want them to be. God is still teaching me this long lesson and recently I think i heard that voice again. It's the voice of God saying trust me in all things. Thank God in all things through Jesus Christ our Lord. |
Thursday, December 20, 2012
He's Autistic!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
What is Your Life Focus?
As I reflect back on
my own journey I have had plenty of focuses over the past 50 years. When I was a boy I focused on playing after
school, fishing and baseball. When I became a teenager I focused on girls,
partying and driving my own car. In those
early years the focus could change based on friends and influence, but the
focus was always ME. But the ME I kept
the focus on was falling apart even at a young age. I began to let sin direct
my paths every day. I listened to the sinful nature direct my paths to get what
I wanted when I wanted it. By the time I had graduated from high school I was a
mess! Granted I graduated, had a job and a car and even my own “place” by the
age of 18, but I was miserable.
When I was introduced to Jesus I decided that His ways offered hope to my life and
circumstances, but yet it was still focused around "ME". Within a few short
months I realized I needed to shift the focus from ME to the focus on God. In Church language we would call that being
consecrated to the will of God and then by faith being Sanctified entirely by
His grace. It was within 2 months of
surrendering the "ME" of ME to the Will of Him that I discovered I could still
have focuses in life that I enjoyed and still be “Him focused” without being “ME
focused”. I could enjoy the things and subjects of life as He created me to enjoy
them.
In my year book
before I was even saved and very much lost in sin I had written that one of my
ambitions in life was to travel. To this day I still enjoy traveling. Yet the
travel desire before I was saved was turned into a God focused travel. Since becoming set free from sin I have been
blessed to travel to a number of countries and places for the purpose of His
kingdom that has given me far greater joy on multiple levels then had I just travel for ME.
Today I am a pastor and my life focus and calling is to
minister the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But in the midst of His calling and “His
focus” for my life I can still focus on many things I have always enjoyed
without being detracted from the “Main Focus”. Baseball, exploring the world, fishing , motorcycles and so many other focuses can still be enjoyed, yet with a God focus first and foremost. Regardless that I was called into ministry or not God wants all believers “main
focus” to be His focus. You can be a
doctor or lawyer, salesman, factory worker or real estate broker with a “God
Main Focus”. Regardless of what you do, God wants each heart to have a God Focus
in life! Just today I was reading an email of a God
focused real estate guy asking if anyone had a heart to use a couple of his properties
for God’s glory. I know this man and even though he buys and sells real estate
his “Main Focus” is a “God Focus”
If every born again
believer would keep the focus of their everyday life on what God wanted and
when he wanted it we would have an every expanding Kingdom of God in our midst.
I still love fishing, motorcycles, traveling, beaches and hiking in the woods. I can enjoy those sports, places and
activities with God and for God’s Glory if I keep the “Main FOCUS” on Him
instead of ME.
When we have a “Me Focus” , life will eventually disintegrate
and usually it will make others’ lives around us miserable in the midst of it
as well. Living for Christ is to be a
surrendered holy life that is sin free
and set free to follow the Lord while keeping the ‘Main Focus’ our “Life Focus.”
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Are You Awake or Asleep in the Light?
Have you ever been traveling on business or on a tight
schedule? As a pastor at times I have found myself at conferences and when the
day is over I go back to my hotel room and call the front desk to ask for a
wakeup call. Most adults have done that at one time or another just to make
sure we do not over sleep so we ready for the demanding schedule of the next
morning. Some people are night owls, others are early birds, but we all have
had those longs days when we are just wiped out from the activity of day and we
look forward to a good sleep. But because we have to be ready early we need
that wake up call from someone else so we make sure we are up in time to be
ready for the next day. Just last week I had planned to be up to attend a 6:30
a.m. prayer meeting. It was about a 15 minute drive away. I set my alarm for 5
a.m. and even a second follow up wake up call for 5:30. That morning when I
finally realized what time it was I had had sleep through 1 of my wakeup alarms
and then had to decide if I would push it and still make it in time or just
forget it? I decided to go for it and rushed through the bathroom, dressed and
out the door. When I arrived it was 6:30 exactly. I was close to being late,
but I wasn’t. I must admit there have been others times and more then I really
want to admit when I was not early or on time, but late. Sometimes it’s just
not right to enter certain things late and almost better to just skip. The
point is a wakeup call is to help prepare us to be READY and up in time from
any deep sleep we might find ourselves in.
In Noah’s Day
before the flood the scriptures tell us that Noah was a preacher of
righteousness and preached God’s wakeup call of judgment right up until the
‘Day’ that they entered the Ark. 2 Peter 2:5 if he
did not spare the ancient world when
he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but
protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others. We see that before every judgment in history God
gives a wakeup call so people can
prepare for what is next.
Amos 3:7 Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the
prophets.
Before the Flood there was righteous Noah a
preacher preparing himself & preaching to people a message. There is no
question people knew about the flood mentioned by the mere fact that he was
building a huge vessel that expecting to float. The people of that time were
warned and given opportunity to change. When God decided to finally judge Sodom and
Gomorrah he let Abram know about it first and he finally went to warn the
people there but could only seem to convince Lot and his family to flee the
calamity coming there.
Are we living in a time and season that God
is speaking to the church? What are our warnings today? Are we acting like the earth is our home
or heaven is our home? Are we truly awake yet? Are God’s people and spiritual
matters our top priorities? Or are we self-consumed and with no time to read, pray and connect in worship and
fellowship with His people and what his prophets are saying today? Are we talking and
witnessing to those we know and love with a message of urgency?
When 9/11 happened was it a wakeup call for
America and the world to get ready?
Are you more prepared to stay on earth then to
leave for glory?
Keith
Green is a deceased Christian artist from the 80’s who sang a song to describe
what I believe is the condition in large part of the present state of church of
our time.
“Do you see, do you see, all the people sinking down,
Don't you care, don't you care, are you gonna let them drown,
How can you be so numb, not to care if they come,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done.
Oh Bless me Lord, bless me Lord, you know it's all I ever hear,
No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear,
But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds, and He cares for your needs,
And you just lay back and keep soaking it in, oh, can't you see
it's such sin?
Cause He brings people to your door,
And you turn them away, as you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace, and all Heaven just weeps,
Cause Jesus came to your door, you've left Him out on the streets.
Open up, open up, and give yourself away,
You've seen the need, you hear the cry, so how can you delay,
God's calling and you're the one, but like Jonah you run,
He's told you to speak, but you keep holding it in,
Oh, can't you see it's such sin?
The world is sleeping in the dark,
That the church can't fight, cause it's asleep in the light,
How can you be so dead, when you've been so well fed,
Jesus rose from the grave, and you, you can't even get out of bed,
Oh, Jesus rose from the dead, come on, get out of your bed.
How can you be so numb, not to care if they come,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done,
Don't close your eyes, don't pretend the job's done.
Come away, come away, come away with Me, My love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, My love.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
What’s in a Sermon Title?
Years ago
when I first started out in ministry a sermon title revealed what was coming. When I look over the past decades of my own
sermons I can see where I went from very biblical titles of messages to seek
friendly titles that were tied even into
the latest movies & trends of the
day so as be make the Word of God and the preaching thereof more relevant. Well I guess
I have come full circle again because I do not see how being relevant to the latest
trends in the movies , celebrities and
politics is going to win the lost and sanctify the hungry at heart. A few years ago I did the funeral for a veteran
holiness pastor who died in his mid 90’s. He
had pastored over 50 years of his life preaching holiness. I had the rare opportunity to look through his
decades of sermon notes before then went off to his family. I took the time to
just jot down some of the titles and scripture texts of dozens of his messages. I thought I would share a few of those
titles here today as a point of
reference on how staying relevant to the Word is much more in line with true
biblical holiness then staying relevant with culture. The culture needs a fresh biblical Word to
provoke them to seek after God, more then they need a slick sermon title that
sounds like the filthy movie they just watched the week before. Just saying……
- Burglar Proof Religion
- Fair Warning
- I stand at the door and knock
- White Robes
- The Crucial approach to holiness
- God hath given eternal life
- Jesus Saves from all sin
- Acceptable to God
- 5 Things God does not know
- Who then shall be Saved?
- Our glorious heritage and our holy responsibilities
- The uses of trial
- The Changeless Christ
- The way of holiness
- A perfect man
- The disowned
- The World’s Danger
- The Christians Body & the life of holiness
- The Believers Wisdom, Righteousness, sanctification and redemption
- Do you need a new God?
- Living to the point
- Forgiveness of sins
- Christ in relation to the religious feeling of mankind
- Watch
- The attraction of Holiness
How many mega churches or want to be mega churches pastors have
sermon titles like those above? So many
sermon titles today have shock em type words like sex and non bible related bible terms in them. I have even seen where the pastor of a
church on TV sat on a bed instead of preaching from a pulpit to make the point
about sexual purity more real. It just seems like we need to look to those Godly
men of the past decades again and rid ourselves of
the filth of this world and let God be Holy proclaimed again in our pulpits.
Just saying………
Friday, April 27, 2012
Gleaning for Missions & More!
 |
| Bail er and bails being prepared from donations |
Now he is collecting and selling used clothes, shoes, linen's etc. for International sales. He thought why not give back to ministries anywhere in the country who would collect clothes and donate them on a larger scale. Since my heart is drawn to missions and how to help our missionaries who have had to deal with so many cut backs, I shared this is idea with one of our missionaries who serves in Africa. He loved the idea and is sharing it with his supporting network of churches on how they might consider donating used clothes to a different place and through a different system, which in return will place money in their hands a half world away.
The gentleman who owns and operated this non-profit is willing to pick up and bring truckloads back to Florida to prepare for International shipment from anywhere in the continental USA . To qualify the quantity needs to be around 20,000 lbs for return delivery. If this story being played out as the writing of this post strikes a heart string of possibilities for your ministry endeavors give me a call or write back. There is far more to this story then what I shared, but this is the nutshell of what we are working on in a hard economy and how God is doing unique things in our day with used resources I would have never imagined.
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